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Mental load

Mental overwhelm. 

Heavy chest and head. 

Crushing expectations. 

I don't have a lot of days where these words are how I would describe them. But they happen. They are hard to live through. 

Even knowing that time, sleep, moving, talking, or reading will help. Sometimes I'm just immobilized. Unable to move forward the way I want to, and the way I know I "should" be able to. 

Want to know what? That's okay. 

It's okay to not be okay. 

Especially with a pandemic and so many restrictions and changes and limitations. It's okay to not find a solution or way out every day. 

It's okay to just breath. Just exist, as hard as that can be. Just move from moment to moment. 

Things will change again, the weight will be more bearable until moments where you may not even notice it. Breathing becomes automatic instead of intentional. Moving and talking become enjoyable again. 

These are the moments people expect. They are good moments, but sometimes you need the hard as a reminder to be thankful for the good. 

Joy and pain, yin and yang. 

Life will never be all joy all the time. And that's okay. 
Looking for moments will help when things are hard, but gratitude comes when you know both sides of the equation. 

If you are in a hard day, you are never alone. Even when you feel that no one understands or you can't reach out for fear of disbelief. 
You are not alone. 
Your experience is valid. 
Your pain is real. 
Your feelings matter. 
You will make it through and be stronger for it. 

I got you boo. 

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